Once Upon A Time...
Some of the easiest things in life
are the hardest, aren’t they? And then,
some of the things that we expect to be the most difficult actually turn out to
be easier to accept than we had thought they would be.
I admit April was a very long and
very difficult month for me. It was a
month of waiting, rather impatiently at times, I confess. It was a month of confusion, of doubts, of
some tears even. But April showers bring
May flowers, don’t they? And the flowers
are finally beginning to bloom again for me.
In the month of April, I was waiting
for a change. I was searching for
answers, asking God “why?” Why He was
putting me through so much change. Why
it seemed on some days that He was allowing my world of stability to fall
apart. The wheels of my life were stuck
in a rut of waiting, of an unbalanced, unstable rollercoaster of eager highs
and anxious lows.
But even in a cloudy sky, the sun
will break through someday. The clouds
will burn off, the blue sky will shine through again, and the view will be so
clear. The change I had been waiting for
came. And although I had thought the
change would be so difficult to embrace, the Lord prepared my heart for that
change too even, just as He has with each change He’s brought my way, and it brought
me revelation.
I was in my home church on Sunday
morning, and just as He so often does, the Lord chose to speak to me during the
worship of the service. I had my eyes
closed, praying. My heart was heavy deep
down, for I knew the change I had so long been trying to deny had finally
come. I didn’t want to accept it. It seemed only to bring more confusion into
the shambles of my world, and I couldn’t see what God was doing. And as I stood there praying, He revealed to
me a fault of mine over the past month.
God is writing a story for each of
us- our life story. I thought I knew in
my heart where my story was leading; the next chapter seemed so
predictable. And then a good twist entered
the plot and left me doubting. Left me
confused and struggling to trust God in whatever He was doing. But I’m not the easiest pupil God has, and in
my impatience, I had begun trying to take control of His pen again, just as I
had done at the end of last year. (See Red,
Black, and… a Smile! High Heels and Humility from January 2013.) Relinquishing control of my life to Him is
definitely a struggle of mine. It does
not come easy for me. And just as the
power struggle had brought me so much unhappiness before, so it brought me all
the low points, all the confusion, all the doubts that I experienced in the
month of April. I wonder when will I
ever learn that doing the same things will always bring the same results?
When an unexpected occurs in a
story, it’s natural to doubt the ending, what comes next, isn’t it? When changes came and the expected next step
of my life suddenly seemed impossible, I tried ending the chapter. It just seemed like the close of it. I tried putting a period in the story.
But sometimes, where we see a period
should go is really where God’s only putting a comma. Where we see the end of a chapter is
sometimes just where He sees the beginning of the chapter. I had been trying to put a period where He
wanted a comma. Who did I think I
was? I was faced with the question
during worship on Sunday. I couldn’t
control what God was doing in me, He revealed to me. His power is so much greater than mine, it
isn’t within my power to control or dictate in any way how He writes my story. I had pleaded for an answer from Him, and
although all I had received in reply was simply that familiar “Wait,” I had
decided to try to take the pen myself and blotch a period in the story where I
thought it should go even though He wouldn’t tell me whether it did or didn’t
belong there. I was trying to write my
story the way I thought was best.
Again when I realized my fault and
surrendered my futile attempts to take control of my life, the Lord filled my
heart with such an unexpected peace about the new change in my life. It was suddenly okay. It would all be fine. And in the open book of my life story, He
took His pen and simply inserted a comma.
It wasn’t the end of the story, He whispered to my heart.
But just as the characters of a
story all have a role in the plot, so I have a part in the story, and as He’s
opened my eyes, I’m finally beginning to realize what that role is. No story can ever be made complete unless
every character acts out the events assigned to him, and my part in the story
right now is to wait, to pray, and to fulfill what the Lord’s calling me to do
in the meantime as I wait for His plans to come to fruition. And I’m thankful for the comma He’s placed in
the story, for I realize now that without it, the entire flow of the story
would’ve fallen apart. It wasn’t time
for the next portion of the journey.
There’s still so much work to be done and so much He still wants service
for.
I’m still left waiting for Him to
continue the chapter of my story that He’s begun, but in the meantime, I now
see the part of the story plot that He’s calling me to fulfill while I
wait. So many milestones lie ahead for
me, and in my heart, I know He’s about to take me on one the best journeys of
my life as He prepares me for the new role He has for me in my future. As He prepares me for the next step He plans
to bring. And God takes so much delight
in us, His children. Did you know that
God actually enjoys blessing you? Just
as we find joy in giving gifts to loved ones, so He takes such pleasure in
giving us gifts from Him as well. And as
difficult as it may be for some of you to get your mind around this, when God
brings an unexpected into my life and I’m left so surprised that I’m literally
speechless, I can feel Him smiling down on me and laughing. Yes, He finds that much enjoyment in
giving us gifts and the desires of our hearts, for the true desires of His
children’s hearts- if the children are earnestly walking with Him- are those
that He’s placed within their hearts. If
you are following God’s guidance and walking in His will for your life and
seeking His heart, then the desires of your heart will be the same as God’s
desires for your life. “Trust in the
Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give
you the desires of your heart.” (Ps 37:3&4)
With
that said, He is so excited and eager to write the next step of my story- I can
feel His enthusiasm- but like any good author, He has to write the story in the
proper order, for He is not a God of chaos but of order. But as He’s revealed to me, He wants to
expedite this part of the chapter and continue on with getting to the “good
part.” “The best is yet to come,” as He
once told me. So within the next seven
months, the remainder of the year, I have a feeling He’s about to cram into
this season all the preliminary foundation work He needs to establish. In truth, by Christmas, after crossing many
milestones, I expect to be in a very different place in my life than I am in
now. He’s set the wheels of my life in
motion again, has shifted gears, has stirred in me a healthy restless to
counteract my lethargy, and has told me it’s time to get my life rolling again. It’s time.
As I learned, sometimes the seeming
end of a chapter in our lives really isn’t the end after all. God is writing our life story and the story
He has to write is far better than anything we could ever make up. I promise you, allowing Him to write on the
page of your life whatever He chooses will be so worth whatever interim periods
of waiting or inner conflicts of questions that may need to be included in the
story for its ultimate happy ending. As
I think I’m finally beginning to understand the purpose of His simple answer of
“Wait,” again I marvel at truly just how much better He knows than we do. Never give up hope. Never allow disbelief to minimize your
conception of what God can do. And never
ever… try putting a period where God wants a comma. Once upon a time… Your story, my story written flawlessly
by “the author and perfecter of our faith.” (Heb 12:2) And it’s not over yet.
“Every good and perfect gift is from above,
coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like
shifting shadows.” James 1:17
*Love the songs
Every Good Thing by The Afters and While I’m Waiting by John Waller off of the Fireproof
Original Motion Picture Soundtrack!
I so love the movie Fireproof too. Highly recommend it; two thumbs up! (For my
personal review of Fireproof and other movies by Sherwood Pictures, check out
my post from July 2012 titled Media Madness.) Just btw. J
Photo courtesy: www.123rf.com
~We’ve all heard of the phrase “pulling on her/ his heartstrings,”
but heart-chords? I was struggling to
decide what to name my blog. I wanted it
to be a name that was both creative and meaningful. As I pondered, my gaze fell upon my acoustic
guitar where it stands in my bedroom, and the Lord reminded me that our hearts-
our lives- are instruments. They are
constantly in song, but what melody our heart plays is each of our own
decisions. They can play a melody for
praise or for entertainment. A musician
selects his songs according to his audience.
So do we. Whether our audience is
the world or the Lord, our song will be different. This blog is designed to first, increase my
awareness in finding God and His guidance in my every day and second, to share
the music lessons He teaches me in tuning my heart to learn the chords of
praise He longs to play on my heart-instrument.
Music is a powerful tool. Use it
for His glory. “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of
praise to our God. Many will see and
fear and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3
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