Praise Beyond Pain
Hi, everyone! So for those of you that have been following
my blog lately, you know that these past few weeks have been pretty difficult
for me. I admit the beginning of this past
week was no different. I have so much on
my mind lately, and Monday was an off day for me as I felt overwhelmed as it
weighed heavily on my mind and on my heart.
Knowing my last riding lesson was going to be this past Wednesday
though, I had expected it to be a difficult week.
Contrary to my expectation though, I
didn’t shed any tears on Wednesday. I
said goodbye with a smile, knowing I would see my riding instructor and the
horses again only a week and a half away.
But I also felt the Lord’s comforting peace surrounding me as I left the
familiar farm. I knew I was doing what
He had called me to and He had prepared my heart for that moment of letting
go. That afternoon, He began teaching me
a lesson on worship, of how to praise Him despite my circumstances. That lesson wouldn’t come to full bloom in my
heart though until Friday night.
Friday evening at my church, I
attended a worship service for young adults called United Night Of Worship. I admit I was a little nervous about going
despite the fact that my oldest sister would be there. But I just barely made the low margin of
counting as a young adult… and who would I sit with when my sister was singing
up on stage? Would I be all alone? In my spirit though, I knew this was
something God wanted me to be there for, and after the week, I was ready to be
back in my church again and surrounded by my fellow brothers and sisters in
Christ. So I went anyways.
It was much like a young adult
service: colored lights on the background of the stage, loud music, but it
brought out the young side of me and I fit right in. As it was, I wouldn’t have sat alone, but the
worship leader called everyone to stand up front anyways. When the service began, nearly everyone was
standing up there at the base of the stage, but slowly, the crowd began to
dwindle and return to their seats as I was worshipping with my eyes closed. When I opened them once in the second half of
the service, I realized that I was one of only six young people still standing
up there. I would never have gone up
alone, but since I was already there, I stayed where I was. I couldn’t have moved even if I had wanted
to.
That night, the presence of God was
so strong in that place, and suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter. I lost all perception of time. I was totally exposed being one of the last
young adults standing up front, I was shaking with cold, my hands cramped from
clenching them in passionate prayer, my throat was sore, and my gums were dry
from the smile that I couldn’t wipe from my face in His presence. But none of it mattered.
The Lord took me on a journey that
night in the three hours that I stood at the base of that stage. At the beginning of the service, I wavered
between a high and a low. In the quiet
moments of prayer, I pleaded with God for guidance and direction and confessed
how lost I felt, and in the times of singing, I praised Him that He hadn’t
abandoned me on this road though and left me alone and deserted. At some point in the service though, all that
faded, and I couldn’t pray at all. All I
could do was simply soak in His presence as He refilled my cup overflowing. But at the end of the service, my worship was
very changed, and all I could do was praise Him for Who He is and what He’s
doing. I didn’t walk away with any
revelation of direction, but I took away a restored faith and trust in Him. He’s making order of my disorder and
construction of my confusion. Just as a
pile of building materials doesn’t become a house overnight, so He’s slowly
taking the disarray of pieces and making them into something beautiful in His
time. But it’s a process that requires
patience.
As I stood there, simply worshipping
God, I realized that it doesn’t really matter if everything in my life makes
sense or not. It doesn’t matter if on
some days my life seems to be falling apart at the seams; I know He’ll be there
to catch me when it does. As long as I
know Him and His truth, that’s all that matters, He showed me. I knew in my heart that I was right where He
wanted me to be… in that one moment and in my life journey. The losses that might come tomorrow, next
week, or next month didn’t matter so much anymore as I was swept off my feet by
His presence.
I had thought that giving up my
riding lessons was the last thing the Lord was going to ask me to
surrender. But I was wrong. Last night, I did two things I told myself I
wouldn’t. I allowed myself to let down
my guard and be myself unchecked. I
jumped in a song with the other few people up at the front, doing the
“Pentecostal hop” as my pastor calls it; I laughed as I stepped to the left and
to the right too many or too few times and jumped too many bunny hops. Sacrilegious?
No, simply enjoying the uncontainable joy of the Lord that only He can
fill hearts with. I raised my hands in
worship for the first time in view of others as if I had been back in the
concealment and privacy of my own bedroom.
There was another thing God was asking me to give up besides my riding
lessons… my guarded side, my dignity. I
jumped, laughed, and raised my hands to the Lord like no one else in the world
even existed. All bars were taken off my
heart, and the Lord taught me to love and to live freely without any
regrets. I can’t remember the last time
that I felt so alive, so young, so joyful, and most of all… so carefree. My heart burst with love and life, and I
rejoiced in the new person He’s making me into.
The old has passed away… but the new has come! Being in my home church, surrounded by the
Lord’s presence, filled with His joy, and in the midst of some of my favorite
people was the perfect combination for the time with God that He knew I needed
Sometimes we allow ourselves to
become too preoccupied with our situations, don’t we? We dwell so much on our problems, on our
confusion, on our disillusionment and disorder that we lose sight of how good
God is through it all. In First
Thessalonians, we’re instructed to “Be joyful always; pray continually; give
thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
(1Th 5:16-18) Give thanks in all
circumstances. That’s not always an easy
thing to do. Believe me, I know. But it’s what we’re called to do.
No matter how dark or confusing or
out of control our situation in life might seem, God is so faithful through it
all. He deserves our praise and our
thanksgiving for so many reasons. He’s
so worthy of them. You may feel
directionless like me on the road on which you travel, or maybe you feel like all
of the world has walked out on you, or maybe you feel stuck under the showers
of a raincloud and you can’t seem to get out from underneath it. But there is no situation that is out
of God’s control. You may feel
directionless, but you’re not. You may
feel all alone without a friend in the world, but you haven’t been deserted
completely. You may feel stuck under
that rain cloud, but you have Someone holding an umbrella over your head. There is nothing in your life that is so
great that it can overcome or surpass in any way the goodness, the
faithfulness, and the love of our God.
And that, my friends, is reason enough to praise Him whatever our
circumstance.
God is not a promise-breaker either,
and He promises us in His Word that He will work all things for the good of
those who love Him. (Ro 8:28) And many
times, in fact, it’s the moments of our lives that seem so out of control that
are really being fashioned in the most tender, most gentle, and most sensitive part
of His control… the very palm of His hands.
Rough patches in our lives aren’t always the curses or punishments they
seem to be sometimes, but oftentimes, they’re blessings in disguise that He’ll
reveal their purposes to us in His perfect timing. But He also knows how difficult those times
are for us. He still loves us and cares
for us, and it pains Him to see us hurting and struggling beneath difficult
stages of His process of molding our characters and writing our life
stories. That’s why, just as He promised
Joshua, He will never leave us nor forsake us. (Jos 1:5) And why too, David sings, “Praise be to the
Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” (Ps 68:19) The Lord doesn’t drop something in our lap
and leave us to carry it alone.
Therefore, friends, let us learn to
take our eyes off of our circumstances and the disorder and confusion around us
and in our own lives. Let us learn to fix
our gaze vertically with an eternal perspective rather than so horizontally on
the pressures weighing heavily upon us that we struggle beneath. Let us allow Him to teach us to see our
circumstances as He sees them and to allow Him to carry our burdens for us just
as He so wants to for His children. For
His plans for our lives are not supposed to weigh us down and rob us of our joy,
but rather instead, His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Mt 11:30) So let us “Praise the Lord. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in
his mighty heavens. Praise him for his
acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.” (Ps 150:1&2) Let us praise Him for all of the beautiful
qualities of His character and for all that He’s done and is doing in our
lives, even when we’ve yet to see its purpose now. Let us thank Him for His many blessings, for
friends and family, for their love and support for us. Join me in my discovery of renewed faith and
trust in God, and let us announce together in worshipping Him, “Praise the
Lord. Praise the Lord, O my soul. I will praise the Lord all my life; I will
sing praise to my God as long as I live.” (Ps 146:1&2)
“My
mouth will speak in praise of the Lord.
Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.” Psalm 145:21
Photo courtesy: www.123rf.com
~We’ve all heard of the phrase “pulling on her/ his heartstrings,”
but heart-chords? I was struggling to
decide what to name my blog. I wanted it
to be a name that was both creative and meaningful. As I pondered, my gaze fell upon my acoustic
guitar where it stands in my bedroom, and the Lord reminded me that our hearts-
our lives- are instruments. They are
constantly in song, but what melody our heart plays is each of our own
decisions. They can play a melody for
praise or for entertainment. A musician
selects his songs according to his audience.
So do we. Whether our audience is
the world or the Lord, our song will be different. This blog is designed to first, increase my
awareness in finding God and His guidance in my every day and second, to share
the music lessons He teaches me in tuning my heart to learn the chords of
praise He longs to play on my heart-instrument.
Music is a powerful tool. Use it
for His glory. “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of
praise to our God. Many will see and
fear and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3
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