Drawing the Line
Prayer is a strange concept, isn’t
it? The power of prayer is
incredible. “The prayer of a righteous
man is powerful and effective. Elijah
was a man just like us. He prayed
earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the land for three and
a half years. Again he prayed, and the
heavens gave rain, and the earth produced its crops.” (Jas 5:16-18) But how often we pray prayers of little
faith, going through the motions rather than truly believing God will answer
them.
Over
the past couple of months, I’ve been praying that God would use me in a
particular area. I admit, I prayed the
prayer somewhat half-heartedly. The
desire to be used by Him was there, but I didn’t really believe He would take
me up on the offer. But if He did, I was
careful to specify that I wanted to be used unknowingly; I wanted to go about
my own little daily routine and stick to my own business but be used without
knowing I was being used. I wanted to be
used the easy way. Let’s face it,
friends. We like shortcuts and the easy
way out, don’t we?
But
God surprised me. This past week, after
those months of praying, He answered my prayer and provided me with the
opportunity to be used by Him. Over
these past several weeks that have been so difficult for me, I had yet to hear
God’s voice anymore. I pleaded with Him
to speak to me… but all I heard was silence.
It left me fighting feelings of abandonment and desertion. It welcomed doubts and fears. And it left me feeling lonely without that
connection to Him. But last Wednesday
morning, He spoke to me in a knowing. A
knowing that the idea in my head wasn’t my own.
I was hesitant to accept it as being from Him since it had been several
weeks since I had heard directly from Him, and truth be told, I didn’t really
welcome the form of the opportunity. So
I tried dismissing it as my own random idea and tried ignoring it. But it persisted.
Finally
I consented to consider that maybe, just maybe, the idea really was His
and not mine. When I did though, fears
began to swell in my heart in an onslaught.
As I began fretting about what I felt Him calling me to do, I finally
heard His voice speaking to my head and my heart as clearly as ever again. I was so overjoyed to hear His voice
again! I had missed the sound of it so
much over the past silent weeks. But I
was a little surprised by His words this time.
In the past, when He had spoken to me, He was also so gentle and tender
and understanding, so soft-spoken. But
this time was different. His words and
His tone sounded almost… frustrated. As
concise but candid as ever, He simply said, “Just do it.” “Yeah, just do it,” I told myself. I tried not to think about all of the
circumstances surrounding the task He was calling me to do, but the fears
always returned. But every time I began
to fret about it again, I would hear Him simply say over again, “Just do it.”
As
the morning wore on though, my fears turned to complaints. I grew upset over the assignment. Why did God have to choose me for it? Why couldn’t He have given the task to
someone else instead? I ranted such
questions to myself. Who knows though
that even God has a limit of how much He can take from us. He had listened to my doubts and distrust
over the past weeks and had comforted me and reassured me in them. But this wasn’t simply fear I was displaying
now; it was complaining and frustration, and that He could not tolerate. As I began ranting to myself, I heard His
voice again even clearer than before. As
clear as day it came to me. “Is this not
what you asked for?”
By
His tone, I knew I had pushed my limit and that He was upset with my
behavior. His question demanded an
answer… but I couldn’t find the words to speak.
I was frightened of Him in that moment and so ashamed of myself. He had never spoken so harshly to me before. But He had rebuked me for my behavior and my
attitude about what He had called me to do.
I tucked my tail and cowered.
“Is
this not what you asked for?” He
reminded me of my prayer over the past couple of months. Well, yes, it was true; I had prayed
that He would use me in that area… but I had wanted to be used unknowingly. This wasn’t what I had in mind when I had
prayed that prayer. It wasn’t what I had
expected. I had wanted God to answer my
prayer under my terms, and when He didn’t, I didn’t want to accept His
answer. I got mad when He asked me to
move across the line I had drawn.
I
wonder how often though, we all pray prayers with our own conditions
attached. How often we treat prayer like
a contract we’ve written up with our terms in small-print at the bottom. Friends, we cannot try to put
limitations on how God wants to use us and what He wants to do in our
lives. We can’t try to put His power in
a box. We can’t draw a line in the sand
and say, “Okay, this is as far as I’m willing to go.”
I
had seen my prayers answered before, but all of the times, the answers had seemed
so coincidental to me as if even if I hadn’t prayed, the situation might’ve
still turned out favorably anyways. But
after that morning, I know without a shadow of a doubt that God does
answer prayers in due time. It may not
always be in the way we imagine Him to answer them though. God will answer your prayer, but He
won’t always follow your terms. And He
won’t always let you take the easy way out.
As He showed me, sometimes to have our prayers answered, He’s going to
call us to put some skin in the game.
When you pray a prayer, you have to be prepared for however He’s going
to answer because you never know where He’s going to take it. We have to be willing to take responsibility
for the prayers we pray, readers. If you
pray for godly leadership in our country, be prepared to follow His lead if He
calls you to run for office. If you pray
for the lost souls around the world, be prepared to surrender to His will if He
sends you out of the country as a missionary.
If you pray for healing for someone, be willing to set aside your own
agenda if He calls you to go to that person’s house and lay hands on them in
His name. The power of prayer is such
that we have to be prepared for the unexpected answers He may want to give us.
After
my spiritual scolding, God returned to gently pointing out other flaws in my
heart and my reluctance to do His will, but I was still disturbed by His harsh
rebuke. It wasn’t until Thursday evening
as I was flipping through my Bible that He would lead me to a verse that would
alleviate the sting of the pain: “My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline
and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a
father the son he delights in.” (Pr 3:11&12) God’s rebuke should not stir in us a
questioning of His love for us, but instead, it should prove how much He
loves us. For instance, here are two
illustrations He gave me. Imagine with
me a parent and a child. They have the
best relationship. It’s understanding,
loving… it’s perfect. Completely
ideal. They’re friends. But the moment that the child begins to take
advantage of that relationship and throws a temper tantrum, the superior
authority is going to step forward and correct the situation. The parent is going to discipline the
child.
Or
if you’re a horse-lover, you can imagine it this way instead. A horse and rider are riding along in perfect
unity. They move together as one; they
just understand each other. But the
minute that the horse decides to pitch a fit against the rider’s will and
guidance, the rider is going to discipline him until he conforms to instruction
again. In neither situation has the
foundation of the relationship changed any, but the dynamics of the roles have
changed. So it is with my relationship
with God now.
On
Friday morning, the Lord revealed to me that over the past few months as I’ve
grown closer to Him, I had allowed in my relationship with Him too much
buddy-buddy perspective and not enough Father God and child. Don’t misunderstand me; there’s nothing wrong
with having a friendship with God. James
2:23 tells us that Abraham was called God’s friend, and I still consider the
Lord to be my Best Friend. But our
buddy-buddy perspective needs to be kept in proper proportion with our Father
God and child perspective. Friends don’t
fear each other, but a child has a healthy respect for his parent because he
understands and fears his parent’s authority.
If our relationship with God is based only upon a friendship, then our
holy fear of Him will be very limited if it exists at all. Because I had lost my Father and child
perspective, I had also lost my fear of the Lord and therefore, gave no second
thought to growing frustrated with Him, blatantly complaining, and virtually
throwing a temper tantrum. Sometimes,
out of His love for us, God has to rebuke us to shift our perspective back into
its proper place. Sometimes our Father
has to step forward in His authority and discipline us. “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of
wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.” (Pr 9:10) “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of
wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.” (Ps 111:10) The Lord disciplines His sons and daughters-
you and me- that He loves and delights in.
His rebuke is a demonstration of His love for us. It is a blessing, not a curse.
When
God asks us to cross over the line we’ve drawn, when He answers our prayers not
according to our terms, it can be a challenge to step out of our comfort
zone. Although His rebuke of my behavior
humbled me and I didn’t dare to refuse to obey Him any longer, I was still
fearful of what He was asking me to do.
I considered a way I could obey Him and yet do His work in a stealthy
manner so my name wouldn’t be attached to the assignment. He was calling me to step far out on a shaky
limb, to do something I was completely uncomfortable with. I found myself telling Him over and over, “I really
don’t wanna do this… but I will.” As I
considered performing His work anonymously and prayed for Him to reveal how He
wanted me to do the task though, He answered me promptly. He said to me, “Don’t try to hide from what
I’m doing.” I still question what
exactly He meant by that- what He’s doing- but I interpreted it to mean, “Don’t
be ashamed of how I’m using you.” Maybe
His words held more meaning than that, but it served its purpose to give me the
answer that I needed.
When
God answers our prayers and calls us to accept His answer, whatever it may be
and whatever it may require us to do- we shouldn’t be ashamed or embarrassed
any of how God’s using us. It may be
something that’s very out of character for us, but we shouldn’t try to hide
what He’s doing in our lives and how He’s using us. As He revealed to me, when we pray a prayer
and He answers it- whether it’s how we expected Him to or not- it’s our place to
take responsibility for it.
On a
closing note, the Lord’s voice has returned to me and He continues to speak to
me, although He’s yet to give me any more little assignments since
Wednesday. But I feel the connection to
Him again, and our relationship is stronger for all that He taught me at the
close of last week. I realize the
blessing His rebuke was, my fear of Him has been restored, and my faith in Him
has been revived. I encourage you to
join me, friends, so that together, we can learn to pray prayers of faith and
to allow Him to erase the lines of limitations for His will that we have drawn.
“The
prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.” James 5:16
“My
son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because
the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.”
Proverbs 3:11&12
“The
fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have
good understanding. To him belongs
eternal praise.” Psalm 111:10
Photo courtesy: www.123rf.com
~We’ve all heard of the phrase “pulling on her/ his heartstrings,”
but heart-chords? I was struggling to
decide what to name my blog. I wanted it
to be a name that was both creative and meaningful. As I pondered, my gaze fell upon my acoustic
guitar where it stands in my bedroom, and the Lord reminded me that our hearts-
our lives- are instruments. They are
constantly in song, but what melody our heart plays is each of our own
decisions. They can play a melody for
praise or for entertainment. A musician
selects his songs according to his audience.
So do we. Whether our audience is
the world or the Lord, our song will be different. This blog is designed to first, increase my
awareness in finding God and His guidance in my every day and second, to share
the music lessons He teaches me in tuning my heart to learn the chords of
praise He longs to play on my heart-instrument.
Music is a powerful tool. Use it
for His glory. “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of
praise to our God. Many will see and
fear and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3
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