Red, Black, and... a Smile! Pt. 2

Red Coat Recovery

           

            All right, let’s go back to mine and my mom’s recent shopping trip.  I needed a new coat.  Here I loved getting dressed up but would always have to wear my Carharrt work jacket with my dress clothes to church.  So I needed something a little classier, my mom decided and after a time, I finally agreed with her.  With that said, what better place to look for a coat than the Burlington Coat Factory?

            So my mom and I drove up to the Sugarloaf Mills (Discover Mills) Mall near our home.  There’s no doubt they certainly have good reason to call the store a coat factory.  Rows and rows of jackets and coats.  It was going to take a little while.  So we set to searching one by one.  Coat after coat my mom would pull out for my yea or nay of it.  Most of the coats were neutral colors to match with virtually anything in your closet: shades of white, black, gray, or brown.  Those that were different were dark colors like dark green or dark purple.  But amidst all the others, a red pea-coat stood out.

            Like my black high heels, both my mom and I loved it at first sight.  And it was my size!  I slid my arms into the sleeves and buttoned the big black buttons down my front.  It fit perfectly.  Along with a black coat, we purchased the red wool coat.  It was true, the black was more practical, but the red jacket was different.  It was unusual.  It was special.

            For those of you that read my post More Beautiful You from back in November 2012, you’ll remember that I used to struggle with low self-esteem back in my early pre-teen and teenage years.  Since then, I’ve grown to love the person God created me to be; low self-esteem is no longer something I struggle with.  I accept who I am now.  I know I’m created unique and special and different, just like my red coat.  But lately, I found myself asking a new question: Am I too different to… Ever have someone want to publish my stories?  Ever inspire people to really get to know me?  Ever have a Mr. Right out there somewhere?

            It wasn’t that I wanted to change who I was; I didn’t resent my differentness from others.  I still loved the person I was, but I was beginning to see my uniqueness as a hindrance to my opportunities in life rather than as the blessing the Lord intended it to be.  Maybe I was too much a dreamer, too reserved, too much of a romantic.  Maybe I should just give up on all my dreams and live as a recluse the rest of my life.  It seemed easier.  I began to grow bitter and hardened towards my ambitions.  They seemed so fruitless.  I couldn’t see any progress, no path through the thicket.  I was just about through with writing and with my dreams of love and a family someday.  I was ready to throw in the towel.  I had given up hope.  I used to talk about my future husband, whoever he was; now everything had a doubtful “if I ever get married” before it.  I had grown accustomed to the idea of living the rest of my life single and becoming “an old maid.”  I used to think “when I get my book published”; now I thought “if I ever get my book published.”  In my opinion, it was practically all over.  What was the use of holding onto my dreams any longer when I just didn’t have in my “uniqueness” what it took to fit the bill?  I had long forgotten the words of my dad once, telling me to, “Dare to dream even when the world around you can’t.”  But rarely did I talk to anyone about my feelings nor did I hardly ever cry over the disappointment because remember, I was the “master of my emotions.”  (See Red, Black, and… a Smile! High Heels and Humility)

            Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of our dreams amidst the pessimism of the world.  When the world puts limits around what it says is possible and practical, it’s easy to give up on our ambitions just because they don’t fit inside the small box of what’s “rational.”  Big things only happen to important people, they tell us.  Only celebrities can write a chart-topping song.  Only bestselling authors can write a selling book.  Only big-time evangelists can be used by God to touch millions of lives.  But guess what the world doesn’t remind us of?  All celebrities wrote their first song tucked away in their quiet bedroom, all bestselling authors wrote chapter by chapter their first story hidden away in a silent alcove, all big-time evangelists were first used by God to touch one life.  I have on the counter of my bathroom sink a little card that reads “All things big were once things small.  Your task is not impossible at all!”  An encouraging reminder and so true it is.  “Jesus replied, ‘What is impossible with men is possible with God.’” (Mt 18:27)  “For nothing is impossible with God.” (Lk 1:37)

            Not only are you and I created uniquely and differently, but we were created for a specific purpose here on this earth.  Not only are you and I set apart, but we are set apart for a reason, for a divine purpose that only God knows and only He can reveal to us in His timing if we seek His guidance.  You may not be popular, you may not have a lot of friends, you may not make a lot of money or be successful by the standards the world uses to measure success, but you are not too different to fulfill the call the Lord has for your life.  I am not too different.  He created us all different, yes, but He also created you and He created me just right, just perfect, for carrying out His will for our lives.

            I wore my new red coat to the Mall of Georgia the next day, and a woman in one of the stores gave me my first compliment on it.  If my red coat, as unique as it is, can be admired by someone, maybe so can I.  Maybe I too can be loved, respected, and accepted by others for who I am.  Maybe I can, maybe you can… maybe we can and learn to love others for their own individual uniqueness at the same time.  

           

“… I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard see, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there’ and it will move.  Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

 

 

 

*A few favorite songs of mine pertaining to having the courage to stand out and be different and to learn to be content with the person God created you to be: The Lost Get Found by Britt Nicole, Headphones by Britt Nicole, Glow by Britt Nicole, and More Beautiful You by Jonny Diaz.  I’ve recently expanded the content on my writing blog The Avid Author to include not only writing tips and songs, poem, short stories, etc. that I’ve written, but also song lyrics and beginner guitar chords now that I’ve picked out.  For guitar chords for More Beautiful You, check out my posts Jonny Diaz Song Chords and More Jonny Diaz Song Chords on The Avid Author (www.theavidauthor.blogspot.com) for chords for several others of Jonny Diaz’s songs as well.  Additionally, two of my favorite songs about taking a step of faith and dreaming the impossible are Walk On the Water by Britt Nicole and Monotone by Jonny Diaz (chords for Monotone can also be found on The Avid Author).

 

 ~We’ve all heard of the phrase “pulling on her/ his heartstrings,” but heart-chords?  I was struggling to decide what to name my blog.  I wanted it to be a name that was both creative and meaningful.  As I pondered, my gaze fell upon my acoustic guitar where it stands in my bedroom, and the Lord reminded me that our hearts- our lives- are instruments.  They are constantly in song, but what melody our heart plays is each of our own decisions.  They can play a melody for praise or for entertainment.  A musician selects his songs according to his audience.  So do we.  Whether our audience is the world or the Lord, our song will be different.  This blog is designed to first, increase my awareness in finding God and His guidance in my every day and second, to share the music lessons He teaches me in tuning my heart to learn the chords of praise He longs to play on my heart-instrument.  Music is a powerful tool.  Use it for His glory.  “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3