Hawaiian Hurricanes

A few days ago when I heard news of approaching Hurricane Iselle and Hurricane Julio, I was a little concerned. After doing research last night, I found myself in bed at 2:30 in the morning with both my weather app and my world clock set for Hawaii, lying there reading the latest news reports on my iPhone and praying. "Don't let it keep you up all night," my mom warned. 

And logically this morning I had to ask myself: "Why am I so concerned about people I have never met?" Why was I so concerned about over a million people I have never met in a place I have never been? Why was this so important to me?

And the answer was simple: God's love. 

Sad movies don't affect me. Sad songs don't affect me. But when I see people hurting, sad, stressed, worried, or suffering in any way, it affects me deeply. 

It's for that reason that two years ago, my heart silently cried as I watched a homeless man root through garbage cans looking for his dinner. It's why my heart breaks every time I look through the World Vision catalogue or see pictures of people in underdeveloped countries. It's why I find satisfaction in loving on children who are hurting emotionally. It's why I'll comfort and pray for a friend at the altar in church. It's why I avoid the news often- because I know how deeply it affects my emotions and I have to protect my heart. 

I feel the pain or anxiety of others deeply. It's what makes me so nurturing and makes me want to hug every hurting person in the world and make their emotional ouchies go away. It's why I often feel so helpless and why God is forever having to remind me that I can help others by praying even if I can't help in any other way. 

I have a great deal of compassion and empathy for people. But I don't always like it. Sometimes it makes me want to turn off my heart. And sometimes I do. Because I feel so much and so deeply for people. For everyone struggling in some way, and then multiply it ten times for those I really care for. 

Many a time have I wondered if I love people too much. Many a time have I bemoaned my ability to empathize. Oftentimes I have felt over-dramatic and have considered my depth of caring to be one of my worst weaknesses. In truth, many times I have wanted to wish it away. 

Why was I so concerned about those people in Hawaii that I have never met?

The answer was simple: because of God's love. 

And it's the same answer every time to why I care so deeply. 

When I realized that, it changed everything about my perspective. 

My ability to love so much- my ability to empathize, to feel such moving compassion, to be so concerned for others- I realized that it isn't a sign of weakness. It isn't something to bemoan and be ashamed of. It isn't a personality flaw.

As I questioned my concern for the people faring the hurricanes in Hawaii, I realized that the gift of feeling so deeply is God manifesting His love in me and through me. I realized that it is just that: a gift. A gift that I had been viewing wrongly. 

God manifests His love in different ways in all of us. Not everyone will feel the empathy, compassion, and concern for others that I feel. But God manifests His love in and through each one of us. Like I was, sometimes we're afraid of how He manifests that love in us though. I often resented my gift of compassion because I didn't always like to feel. There were times when I would turn my heart off and close up, not always for my emotional health but because I just didn't want to feel so deeply. And no matter how God chooses to manifest His love in us, I think that's a fear that we're all capable of experiencing. A fear of loving too much. A fear of feeling. 

But the truth is, we can never care too much. We can never feel too much for people. However God chooses to manifest His love through us, we can never love others too much. Because it's His loving IN us shining through. For those like me, the ability to feel deeply the emotions of others is a gift. It's the way God chooses to shine His love through us. But however the Lord chooses to shine His love through you, please never consider it a weakness or a fault. It takes a strong person to love and let love show. Please never be afraid to let God manifest His love in you and through you, friends.