The List

Most girls do a lot of daydreaming about their future, and growing up through my teenage years, I had quite a list of expectations for my future boyfriend. In truth, it was a pretty long list. Most of the points were legitimate. Character qualities and virtues I wanted to find in a boyfriend. Not qualities perfected, mind you, but nonetheless there. Other points on my list however were entirely shallow. Making a list of expectations and qualities for her future boyfriend is something that I think nearly every girl does at some point. 

Almost two years ago, I found myself sharing with my aunt that mental list I had made. I was very staunch and determined that I could never enter a relationship with a guy that was anything less than my lengthy list. My aunt had laughed and assured me that my list would change. "When you fall in love, none of that will matter," she told me. Of course, I had still been insistent that nothing would change my expectations in the least. 

But now, two years later, I find she was very right. My expectations and my preferences would indeed change after all just as I grew older. After two years of growing, maturing, and changing, I find that the shallow points on my list no longer matter to me anymore. In fact, several of them I wouldn't even want in a young man now and would no longer find compatible with the person I've now become. While the spiritual qualities and virtues- the important things- remain in my desire, as I've grown, changed as a person, and transitioned into a new stage of my life, none of the rest of the points on my list matter anymore.  

Girls have their lists of expectations and Prince Charming requirements. But girls aren't the only ones. Sometimes I wonder if we don't have a list of expectations for our Heavenly Bridegroom. 

While girls' lists aren't all bad, if the minute details of those requirements turn into law rather than a guideline, that girl could very possibly miss out on the love relationship the Lord has for her. Likewise, do we set ourselves up to miss out on all that God wants to do in our relationship with Him? Do we approach God with a list of expectations and requirements? Do we have a set mindset of how He teaches, how He moves, how He works? Do we put God in a box? Do we ever think that we have Him all figured out? 

I can say from experience that God does not always work according to how we expect Him to or how we think is best. And if we come to Him with a list in hand of rigid expectations, we limit how He can move in our lives. We don't allow Him the freedom and the flexibility to do all that He desires to do in us and through us and for us. Unfortunately, I've been guilty of coming to the Lord with a list, with expectations, with a contract complete with small-print conditions. And having God break those limitations, they don't matter to me anymore. I've seen the way God moves when I don't try to confine Him. I've seen God for Who He is, not for only the narrow view of Who I used to expect Him to be. And I've seen the relationship I can have with Him when I don't approach Him with my list in hand. He continues to amaze me every day. 

Friends, God cannot be put in a box, God cannot be all figured out- there's much more to Him than we could ever explore, and God cannot be limited to a Heavenly Bridegroom dream list. He's much more than any requirements we could list and it's only in letting go of our expectations of what we think He should be and what we think He should do that we can even begin to comprehend the wondrousness of all that He really is.