The Harder Route

Just a shorter post this time to share some thoughts...

When we find ourselves in a trial or a difficult situation, I think we really wrestle with the question of "why?" Why we have to walk through what seems to be an unnecessary hardship to get to where God wants to take us. And I'm beginning to realize that we wrestle with that question because oftentimes we forget why we're here. 

God loves us. We aren't just material things to be used: He loves us and wants a personal relationship with us. But we are instruments. We're put here on this earth, not to "live it up" and have a perfect life, but for the Lord to use us to draw others to Himself and to bring Him glory. It isn't always something we like to hear, but many times, using us to bring Him glory comes before our personal comfort. God is more concerned about using us to bring others to Himself than He is about us walking an easy road. When we have to walk through a hardship and take the harder route to where God wants to take us, it might not always be necessary in order for us to get to that destination: there might be an easier, less painful way. But I'm learning that sometimes God takes us down the harder path because it's what brings Him the most glory. Sometimes we have to go through the woods and the thicket rather than through the meadow because the lessons we learn there and the experience we gain is how we best draw others to Him, shine His light, set a godly example to inspire others, and ultimately, bring Him the most glory. 

And when we realize that, we find meaning in the harder path. We can finally stop wrestling with the "why." We're instruments to be used to bring Him glory, unconditional of how that's best accomplished.

The List

Most girls do a lot of daydreaming about their future, and growing up through my teenage years, I had quite a list of expectations for my future boyfriend. In truth, it was a pretty long list. Most of the points were legitimate. Character qualities and virtues I wanted to find in a boyfriend. Not qualities perfected, mind you, but nonetheless there. Other points on my list however were entirely shallow. Making a list of expectations and qualities for her future boyfriend is something that I think nearly every girl does at some point. 

Almost two years ago, I found myself sharing with my aunt that mental list I had made. I was very staunch and determined that I could never enter a relationship with a guy that was anything less than my lengthy list. My aunt had laughed and assured me that my list would change. "When you fall in love, none of that will matter," she told me. Of course, I had still been insistent that nothing would change my expectations in the least. 

But now, two years later, I find she was very right. My expectations and my preferences would indeed change after all just as I grew older. After two years of growing, maturing, and changing, I find that the shallow points on my list no longer matter to me anymore. In fact, several of them I wouldn't even want in a young man now and would no longer find compatible with the person I've now become. While the spiritual qualities and virtues- the important things- remain in my desire, as I've grown, changed as a person, and transitioned into a new stage of my life, none of the rest of the points on my list matter anymore.  

Girls have their lists of expectations and Prince Charming requirements. But girls aren't the only ones. Sometimes I wonder if we don't have a list of expectations for our Heavenly Bridegroom. 

While girls' lists aren't all bad, if the minute details of those requirements turn into law rather than a guideline, that girl could very possibly miss out on the love relationship the Lord has for her. Likewise, do we set ourselves up to miss out on all that God wants to do in our relationship with Him? Do we approach God with a list of expectations and requirements? Do we have a set mindset of how He teaches, how He moves, how He works? Do we put God in a box? Do we ever think that we have Him all figured out? 

I can say from experience that God does not always work according to how we expect Him to or how we think is best. And if we come to Him with a list in hand of rigid expectations, we limit how He can move in our lives. We don't allow Him the freedom and the flexibility to do all that He desires to do in us and through us and for us. Unfortunately, I've been guilty of coming to the Lord with a list, with expectations, with a contract complete with small-print conditions. And having God break those limitations, they don't matter to me anymore. I've seen the way God moves when I don't try to confine Him. I've seen God for Who He is, not for only the narrow view of Who I used to expect Him to be. And I've seen the relationship I can have with Him when I don't approach Him with my list in hand. He continues to amaze me every day. 

Friends, God cannot be put in a box, God cannot be all figured out- there's much more to Him than we could ever explore, and God cannot be limited to a Heavenly Bridegroom dream list. He's much more than any requirements we could list and it's only in letting go of our expectations of what we think He should be and what we think He should do that we can even begin to comprehend the wondrousness of all that He really is. 

In the Waiting

As you all know by now, God speaks to me through children. Besides one of my friends that He uses, God speaks to me perhaps the most through children. And with a new little man in my life now, He has another avenue to teach me through. 

I was watching this sweet little boy and his big sister Wednesday morning. After a long nap, a bottle, and a diaper change, Jack was up for some playtime. 

I laid him on his play mat and sat back to watch. With wide eyes and bright alertness, he stared up at the lights and music and the colorful stuffed zoo animals hanging overhead. He alternated between coos of happiness and little fusses of frustration as he kicked his legs. 

Within months, Jack will be starting to crawl. He'll be mobile. He'll be on the go when those knees hit the carpet and he'll be keeping up with his sister's travels around the house. But for now, he's stuck waiting until that time. For now, he isn't going anywhere. And that can raise some fusses and some leg-kicking. To not be able to go and take off can be frustrating as he'll soon learn. 

As I watched that little infant, I realized I could sympathize with him. In our journey with the Lord, we encounter waiting seasons. We experience times in our lives when we can't go anywhere, when we have to wait until God instructs us where and when to move forward. And we won't always "keep up" with those around us. Sometimes it might feel like we're left behind, like we're stuck on the sidelines watching as everyone else moves forward. And it's frustrating. It can be discouraging at times. It can bring restlessness when we want to be on the go. Sometimes these waiting seasons last a couple months, sometimes a couple years. 

But as I watched Jack, I realized that even as he could only lay there, he was preparing for the day when he would be crawling. He didn't know it but with every kick of those little legs, he was growing stronger. It's in the waiting that he's growing stronger and equipped for when he's on the go. 

Much in the same way, the Lord whispered to me, is how He uses waiting seasons in our lives. As in my own present waiting season I've continued to hear God reaffirm to me strength, I realized that it's in the frustrations and restlessness of waiting that He strengthens us for the time when He'll call us forward. It's in the waiting that He equips us and prepares us for that time. And the waiting isn't forever. Just as the season had a beginning, it has an end and when that time comes and He calls us to move again... we take off once we're on the go. Because we've spent months or years even having our strength, our perseverance, our endurance built for that moment. 

So for those who are here waiting like I am, hold on. I know the discouragement, I know the doubting, the restlessness, the difficulty and exhaustion, the frustrations. But our waiting season has a purpose. God's using it to prepare us and equip us for all that He has in store for us next. Stay strong; be patient. As a young woman I know reminded me, patience isn't only a virtue. It's a mentality, a constant mindset. Adopt it, walk in it, grow in it. Hang in there a little longer. <3