Driving Directionless
One of the greatest inspirations to
me is my aunt. Because she’s my best
friend’s mother, we’re pretty close. And
when it comes to deep spiritual conversations… I tell you, she’s a woman after
my own heart. My serious conversations
with her are a highlight of my visits to Florida. I love with a fervent passion talking
about the things of God, and my aunt and I are like two peas in a pod when it
comes to deep conversations. There’s no
joking, no cracking up, and we can talk for hours straight about spiritual
matters. When we do stop, it’s
usually because life interrupts, not because we’ve run out of things to say.
Talking with my aunt refreshes,
edifies, and encourages my spirit. She’s
an incredible listener and knows how to give godly counsel yet without throwing
a dampening wet blanket on what God’s doing.
I always take away a gem of wisdom with me. She’s one of those people that by pointedly
asking your opinion about things that really matter, just makes you feel
valuable. Our conversations force me to
stand to my full height of maturity, and they reinforce the morals and
convictions that ground me by forcing me to independently give my opinion on
matters that I’ve always just nodded in agreement with my parents on. My aunt is an encouragement and inspiration
to me.
With that said, last week, I
randomly texted her just to check in, see how life was treating her, and keep
her company while my cousin was at work and she was at home alone… and I admit,
I was yearning for another one of those deep conversations. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before we
began opening our hearts to each other again and sharing our spiritual
journeys. I had sent her another text
message and laid down on my pillow in bed again when God revealed to me an
illustration as I waited for her response.
In my post No Looking Back from
March 2013, I told you all that now that God’s taken away each of my former
dreams, I have nothing now. No plans, no
future directions yet. Well, the Lord
revealed to me the image of a car on a road.
I’m that car, and the road, my life.
When the car began driving, there were road signs on the sides of the
street. There were landmarks; it was a
familiar path the car was driving on. It
was like our drives to work or church or the grocery store; the driver could practically
drive it blindfolded. That’s where I was
only a few months ago, God showed me. I
was driving the same paths over and over.
I knew the worn street well. It
was a familiar drive, and I had landmarks and road signs to direct me. I depended on them to help me get where I was
going.
But then, as the car kept driving,
all the landmarks and road signs were suddenly gone. They disappeared. There was nothing to direct the driver
anymore, and without the familiarity, she had no idea where she was going. But when you’re driving to a new place, what
do you use to get you there? Your GPS,
right? You turn that little Garmin on
and it tells you step by step directions of every turn you need to make. But it keeps you on the edge of your seat,
doesn’t it? It keeps you attentive,
waiting to hear the next step of what’s coming in the directions.
And that’s where I am now, the Lord
revealed to me. He has taken away all of
the familiar landmarks and road signs that I once depended on to guide me in my
journey because He wants to be my GPS now.
He wants me to learn to depend on Him to get me to where I’m going. He’s bringing me to a new unfamiliar place
and I need to hear His voice of guidance or I’ll be lost. I’ve always been the independent type in my
spiritual journey, the “I can figure this out myself” kind. But when you’re driving a new stretch of
road, you need directions. I can’t be
that independent person with God anymore, and that’s what He wants. He wants me to depend on Him and Him alone
now, not on my own familiarity with the road or on the landmarks and road
signs. He wants me to have to be so
in-tune with His voice, to be attentive and listening on the edge of my seat for
Him to guide me step by step in faith.
Unfortunately though, I can’t say
“view directions” to see what path God’s going to take me on. I don’t have any choice there. I can’t avoid the bumpy roads or the bridges
or the construction zones. I can’t
choose whether I want to drive on the comfortable-paced back roads or the
flash-flying fast interstates. I go
where He leads me and listen for the next “Turn right here.”
But God’s grace is amazing, isn’t
it? Just like a GPS will redirect my
route when I make a wrong turn, so God will lead me back to the right road if-
or should I say when- I make a wrong turn, when I take the wrong road.
When my aunt texted me back, my jaw
dropped. God had spoken to her the same
lesson, only using a different illustration.
As He revealed to her, we depend on the little pleasures in our life-
our landmarks- to keep us afloat in this life, but God wants to be the arms
that keep us up instead. When she texted
me that, I got such a beautiful picture of a little child with his father. The little son was floating along in the
water with his flotation ring and floaters on his arms, but when his father
came and held him in his strong arms, keeping him from sinking, he didn’t need his
inflatable flotations anymore. God wants
to take away the flotation ring we rely on to support us and keep us from
sinking in the strong currents and stormy waves of this life in which we
sometimes struggle to survive. God wants
us to learn to depend only on His strong, loving, Father arms to keep us from
drowning. His strength is enough to keep
us afloat.
It’s hard when you feel like you’re
drowning though, when you feel lost and directionless. I struggle with how little direction God’s
given me in this season right now. I
often feel like He hasn’t given me much of an assignment to work on, and I
yearn to do something more. I pray for
more to go on than the little list of all He’s given me to focus my time and
energies on these days: walking by faith every day, blogging, working towards
graduation, learning to keep a home, and allowing Him to water a little flower
called love. I feel sometimes like I
should be doing something more significant.
Maybe you feel that way too sometimes.
But be encouraged as my best friend reminded me, that whatever God gives
you to do right now has a purpose even if we can’t see it yet. If you’re doing what God has called you to
do, then you’re doing something important and significant.
Fortunately, I’m surrounded by
loving family to support me in my moments of feeling lost though. Two Sundays ago, my dad prayed with me as I
joined him at the altar in church. We
were alone, far off to the side of the stage, away from everyone else. He simply held me and whispered a prayer in
my ear. That God would give me strength
in my season of not knowing where I was going.
He prayed that God would guard my heart and my emotions. Every facet of his prayer was so timely, perhaps
more than he knew. I felt as though in
that moment he could read every secret thought, every secret struggle, every
secret pain of my heart, and his prayer continues to encourage me.
Yesterday morning, my aunt too sent
me an encouraging word as well as she felt led to share with me a quote she had
heard. “Expectancy releases the harvest
field that’s already there.” There may
not be any evidence of a harvest yet, friends, but God is calling us to tend
the field anyways as though it’s coming.
We may not see any light at the end of the tunnel yet, but in
expectancy, we continue to walk, trusting that when we round the corner, that
light will be there. There may not be
any sprouts growing yet, but we continue to hoe and keep the field rid of
weeds, trusting that the seeds will sprout someday, clinging to God’s promise
that they will. And friends… the rain is
finally coming. Slowly as just a light
sprinkle right now… but it’s coming. I
honestly believe in my heart that the rain has broken through the clouds and is
starting to fall on the seeds. There
still might not be an evidence of the harvest in the field, but a harvest takes
time to grow, and the seeds will bear a harvest if we continue to tend
the field in good faith that it’s coming.
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do
not see.” (Heb 11:1) But “let us not
become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we
do not give up.” (Gal 6:9) April showers
bring May flowers. All things in a new
season need rain to grow.
Maybe I’m the only one that’s
driving completely directionless on an unfamiliar road leading to an unfamiliar
place… but I doubt it. If you find
yourself in the same place as I am right now, dear readers, I pray that this
lesson in my own life, on my own journey, will encourage you in yours. Remember, don’t give up. If we continue moving in faith and listening
for the Lord’s step-by-step directions, we will arrive at our
destination someday. The harvest will
come. We will stay afloat despite
the crashing waves around us. Take
heart, friends. It has started raining
in our fields and on our windshields, whether we can see it yet or not. Be patient and wait for His timing. “He gives strength to the weary and increases
the power of the weak. Even youths grow
tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength. They will
soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and
not be faint.” (Isa 40:29-31) For every
loss- every road sign and landmark you have to sacrifice- there’s always a
gain- somehow, some way. As my pastor
said, when you’re trekking up the mountain of God, “the higher you go, the less
you know.” “Wait for the Lord; be strong
and take heart and wait for the Lord.” (Ps 27:14)
“By
faith, Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his
inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going.”
Hebrews 11:8
Photo courtesy: www.123rf.com
~We’ve all heard of the phrase “pulling on her/ his heartstrings,”
but heart-chords? I was struggling to
decide what to name my blog. I wanted it
to be a name that was both creative and meaningful. As I pondered, my gaze fell upon my acoustic
guitar where it stands in my bedroom, and the Lord reminded me that our hearts-
our lives- are instruments. They are
constantly in song, but what melody our heart plays is each of our own
decisions. They can play a melody for
praise or for entertainment. A musician
selects his songs according to his audience.
So do we. Whether our audience is
the world or the Lord, our song will be different. This blog is designed to first, increase my
awareness in finding God and His guidance in my every day and second, to share
the music lessons He teaches me in tuning my heart to learn the chords of
praise He longs to play on my heart-instrument.
Music is a powerful tool. Use it
for His glory. “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of
praise to our God. Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3
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