Thursday, September 19, 2013

Drawing Near

Drawing Near
 
Sometimes God speaks to us in unconventional ways, doesn’t He?  Sometimes He uses repetition to get our attention.  And sometimes, He uses unlikely people we would never have expected to speak to us through.  Just as it sometimes happens to many of us, this happened to me very recently.
            It was the night of April 12th this past spring.  I was among the group of young adults that had gathered in the dark sanctuary of our church for the young adult worship service, and as it began, one of my brothers in the Lord stepped up to the microphone on the stage lit by colored lights and shared a word he felt the Lord had put on his heart to speak.  A verse that he said the Lord had kept bringing him to.  “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you (Jas 4:8),” he read from his iPhone.  “God doesn’t break His promises,” he reminded us.  Therefore, if we would only set aside everything, seek His face in worship, and draw near to Him, then God would draw near to us just as in His Word He said He would, he encouraged all of us gathered there that night.  If we could only get our eyes off of ourselves and stop asking God for things: for Him to rain down His presence, for Him to come fill us up, etc. and understand that worship is about bringing glory to Him first.  That worship isn’t about us; that it’s about the Lord and bringing praise to Him.  All we have to do is just get out of the way our circumstances and our selfishness- stop making worship about us and our needs and wants- and all of the things that battle for our attention and distract us.  My church brother encouraged us that night to set aside all of the distractions and just to worship God for Who He is.  To simply draw near to Him, enter into His presence, and feel Him draw near to us.
            The Lord used that word to speak to me and a few months later, as the words of that brother returned to me one Sunday morning, I realized that God had used them to shift my perspective and therefore my approach to worship.  I found myself now entering into the Lord’s presence on a different and deeper level.
            The months then passed until it was August 21st.  That evening, as my parents and I entered our church sanctuary for the Wednesday night Bible study, our pastor’s voice reached my ears as the service had already begun.  “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you,” our pastor quoted.  He went on to encourage the small group of believers there with what I recognized as the same message of the word that was shared on that night back in April.
            In the weeks that followed, our pastor shared that word several times more both on Wednesday nights and Sunday mornings.  It was not that church brother’s word; God had simply spoken the same message to our pastor as He had to that brother.  On Wednesday nights, we began singing a song by one of my favorite music groups- Draw Near by Bethel Music.  This verse, “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you,” was strangely beginning to cross my path more and more.
            It was this past Saturday night when I sat, my back against my bed, and read a mini devotional someone had posted on Instagram.  They had mentioned this particular phrase of this particular verse.  Though it was late at night and I should’ve been crawling into bed, I suddenly felt a peculiar urge to look for similar Scripture passages and began searching in the Bible concordance apps on my iPod.  Next I began flipping through all of my Bibles, reading footnotes and verses referenced to in the page margins.  I was beginning to sense something strange about this verse.
            The following morning, our pastor once again mentioned the verse, urging us to draw near to God in our worship.  That afternoon, I found again that someone else had posted on their Instagram the verse that was becoming so familiar to me.
            I was more convinced then than ever that God was trying to speak to me through that verse.  Every time I encountered it, something stirred within me, telling me its message was for me.  But that one phrase that kept haunting me was so simple.  “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”  Its truth seemed so elementary, but yet, I kept sensing that there was something deeper to it.  That there was something more to that verse that God wanted to speak to me, but that I just wasn’t getting.
            So I resolved to dig deeper into that verse until I discovered what God wanted to teach me through it.  The next day, I logged onto the internet and skimmed commentary after commentary on the verse.  Nothing.  I asked the opinion of someone close to me, what her thoughts were on the verse and what it meant to her personally, hoping maybe it would shed some light on the verse from a different angle.  Again, nothing.  She interpreted it exactly for what it said: if we draw near to God, He will draw near to us.  Exactly what was the only thing I kept seeing in the verse.
            But the gnawing persisted.  There was something more to that Scripture than I understood.  It was eerie how it continued to pop up all over the place.  But again, its simplicity puzzled me.  I kept sensing that maybe what God was trying to tell me had to do with that verse, yes, but not only the verse.  The words of my church brother and later the same words my pastor had frequently repeated continued to ring in my ears.  But I had already learned that lesson and applied it to my worship life.  What more in that word was there for me to gain?  I broadened my view and began considering the entire passage of Scripture in which the verse was found.  Still nothing.  I kept being drawn only to that one simple sentence: “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”
            I began to grow discouraged and doubt.  Maybe I had been off base.  Maybe I had been wrong.  Maybe I was making more of it all than there really was.  Maybe I was looking for something that didn’t exist.  I began to feel a little crazy.  Had I gone a little off the deep end this time?  Could I really trust my own judgment?  Maybe it hadn’t been the Holy Spirit’s stirring in me that I had discerned after all.  I began to doubt whether I should’ve even told anyone.  What if I never found the answer?  What if there was no answer to be found?  The repetition of the verse, the stirring in my spirit, my strange sensing…  It all seemed a little too supernatural to be real.  Like something that only happens in movies or books.  Did God really work like that?
So I stopped searching; I stopped asking God for an answer.  As many of us do, I had begun doubting the stirring in my spirit when the results were taking longer than I had expected, when I didn’t see any product.  In truth, when God takes longer than we anticipated to work out a situation, to reveal His reasons and His plans, to give us answers, we have a tendency to grow discouraged, question ourselves and if it was really God speaking and leading us after all, and we give up on waiting.  We allow the Enemy to plant doubts, discouragements, and disappointments, to whisper little lies into our ears.  When my search came back fruitless, I chose to forget about it and abandon the idea.
            Yesterday night however, my parents and I were again at our church for the Wednesday night Bible study when something happened.  The musicians began playing a relatively older worship song- The Heart of Worship by Matt Redman, something very uncommon for them to do.  I will confess, as a modern eighteen-year-old, I was initially a little disappointed by their choice of an “old” song.  An old, outdated, worn-out song it seemed.
            But as I began focusing for the first time on the words of that song I was singing, I found myself again reminded of the familiar word first given that night back in April.  That night that seemed so long ago then.  And I finally understood.  It finally clicked; I got it.  I finally understood what God had been trying to teach me through that word and through that verse.  “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”
            Yes, I had learned to set aside all of my troubles and simply worship God for Who He is and all that He does.  I had learned that my ability to worship is not contingent on my situation or my feelings, but that it is a choice I have to make to tell myself that I will worship God despite what might be going on in my life or despite how I feel at the moment.  I had learned to draw near to God in worship.
            But now, God was telling me that that wasn’t enough anymore.  It was time now to take my worship experience outside of the bounds of music.  To learn to worship Him not only in church with our incredible worship band, not only when I have worship music playing in my bedroom, not only when I’m playing worship songs on my guitar, but to worship Him with every minute of my every day.  And to do that, would mean laying aside all of my troubles, all of the distractions, everything that worries me, every anxious thought.  To stop dwelling on the imperfections of this season, to stop fretting about how all of my passions and dreams are going to fit together, about getting my life together and figuring out my future.  To lay aside all of the pressures that overwhelm me and bring me mental and emotional stress, and to simply live to praise God for Who He is and all that He does.  To set my sights on drawing near to Him and keeping that relationship as it should be and growing ever closer, in fact.  To make drawing nearer to Him my goal.  “Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God- this is your spiritual act of worship.”  (Ro 12:1)  “‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men.’  You have let go of the commands of God and are holding on to the traditions of men.”  (Mk 7:6-8)  Clearly then, true worship should come from the heart and therefore, it should not be dependent on the presence or absence of music.  Our true spiritual act of worshipping God should be found in every minute of our life.  When we leave the church, when we turn off the worship music, when we lay down our guitar, it should not be the end of our worship.  Worship should be ongoing, never-ceasing in our lives.
            As I stood there in that church sanctuary, I heard a few minutes later, another one of my brothers in Christ speak up.  He shared that he felt God telling our group there not to give up on the dreams that He had placed in us.  He reminded us that all of God’s promises are “yes” and “amen.”  “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are ‘Yes’ in Christ.  And so through him the ‘Amen’ is spoken by us to the glory of God.”  (2Co 1:20)  I was reminded again of one statement that had strangely stood out to me and stuck with me all those months since April: “God doesn’t break His promises.”  For me, this word confirmed and sealed the lesson God had just revealed to me.  It was Him saying don’t worry about how everything’s going to turn out, how everything’s going to fit together.  That’s for Me to handle.  Set your focus entirely on Me, worship Me every day with every aspect of your life, draw closer to Me, and I will work out the details of everything else when you focus on what really matters.  Draw near to Me, and I will teach you.  And I will open up doors that no man can shut.   
            So this morning, I took the first step in learning to apply this to my life.  When I awoke, I crawled out from beneath the comforter of my bed, knelt down at my bedside, and gave God my day.  I chose to worship God with every minute of my time.  Everything in my life still existed as it had the night before, the anxious thoughts still arose in my mind, but I made the conscious decision to dwell not on the pressures and the problems, but to dwell on the greatness of God and to worship Him for Who He is and all He does in my life.  To dwell on His faithfulness and His love that always sees me through every hard season.  To dwell on His infinite wisdom and sovereignty that works all things for good and knows what’s best.  “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.”  (Col 3:2)  And doing so, I had a day far better than I have had in a long time.
            So I thank God for using people in our lives to speak to us through.  I thank Him for my pastor, for my older brother in the Lord, and for my younger brother in Him, who, unbeknownst to them, He used them to help teach me this lesson.  I thank Him for taking our simple acts of obedience and our steps of faith and using them to produce a return in ways that we may never even realize, in ways that we could never imagine.  Never underestimate what God can do when you surrender everything, obey, and offer what you have to bring for His glory and His service.  So the boy with the five loaves and two fish learned this lesson.  (Jn 6:8-13) 
            I encourage you, readers, to join me in learning to apply this lesson to our lives.  “Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.”  (Jas 4:8)  Such a seemingly simple verse.  But let us learn to draw near to God in worship not only when the music is present, when we feel like it, and when all is going well, but let us learn to draw near to God in worship with every minute of our lives, with everything we say and do and think.  To choose to worship Him unconditionally.  When you understand and accept this into your act of worship, it will transform your life and your relationship with the Lord.  Be blessed, friends.

 
“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Fathers seeks.  God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” John 4:23&24
 
 
Photo courtesy: www.123rf.com
 
~We’ve all heard of the phrase “pulling on her/ his heartstrings,” but heart-chords?  I was struggling to decide what to name my blog.  I wanted it to be a name that was both creative and meaningful.  As I pondered, my gaze fell upon my acoustic guitar where it stands in my bedroom, and the Lord reminded me that our hearts- our lives- are instruments.  They are constantly in song, but what melody our heart plays is each of our own decisions.  They can play a melody for praise or for entertainment.  A musician selects his songs according to his audience.  So do we.  Whether our audience is the world or the Lord, our song will be different.  This blog is designed to first, increase my awareness in finding God and His guidance in my every day and second, to share the music lessons He teaches me in tuning my heart to learn the chords of praise He longs to play on my heart-instrument.  Music is a powerful tool.  Use it for His glory.  “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Victory or Defeat?

Victory or Defeat?
 
Hello again, readers!  I know it’s been quite a while since I’ve been posting here on Heart-chords, for which I apologize, but this stage of my life has been challenging in both the physical, emotional, and spiritual I’ll admit.  Nonetheless, God is still speaking to me and teaching me and I have so many posts that I began to write and never finished because I was taught another lesson before I completed the one I was writing about.  A few months ago on June 23rd, I had shared with you all a visual of my position in life at the moment, and thankfully, I am so happy to say now that God used my church brothers and sisters one Sunday morning to help me back up to my feet and I am moving forward again.  That was one of the blog posts I began and never finished.  But the Lord has really laid on my heart to share this message with you all instead for now.
            Victory or defeat.  Which to choose.  I was confronted with this question last Wednesday evening as my parents and I attended a Wednesday night Bible study at our church.  I was standing there worshipping and had a lot on my mind.  I had a lot weighing down on me.  In truth, I had been experiencing a lot of discouragement lately.  Discouragement in relationships, discouragement in jobs, discouragement in opportunities…  It seemed I had discouragement in almost every area of my life.  And this was weighing heavily upon my mind that night.
            But as I was praying, the Lord brought to my memory the word “over-achiever.”  It was not a word that is entirely unfamiliar to me, and is one, in fact, that I identify myself with.  My former riding instructor once told me, “You are an over-achiever.”
            As the Lord brought that back to my recollection, I reflected on the situation in which she had told me that.  I had been at my riding lesson and was trying to clear a jump she had set up in the outdoor arena of the farm.  The horse I was riding however was not cooperating very well.  We would build up our momentum in a fast gait canter as we approached the crossbeam and then… the horse would break the gait, slow down to a trot, and prance over the beams.  There was no real jump to it, no drive.
            But I wouldn’t give up.  “This is gonna be it.  This is gonna be the show-stopper,” I had laughed.  And we would try again and again until finally, we made the jump.  “You are an over-achiever,” my riding instructor laughed.
            This was not the only incident in which I refused to quit at something before accomplishing it first however.  But I stopped and asked myself something that Wednesday night.  Why?  Why had I tried so hard?  What motivated me to be so relentless and to strive to succeed, to never give up and keep trying again and again?  What drove me to try the things in riding and training that I was even nervous about doing?
            The first was affection: my love for my riding instructor.  She was much more than a riding instructor to me.  We had reminisced together, laughed together, shared future dreams and plans…  She was a friend, a role model, and encourager to me.  And my affection for her drove me to give my best every time. 
            And second was my trust in her.  Even if I was uncertain about something, if she instructed me to do it, I knew I could.  She would look past my doubts and fears and see my potential and capabilities beyond and would call those out of the darkness.  She would stretch my comfort zone.  But because of her belief in me, believing I could achieve the task she gave me, I believed in myself.
            As I dwelled on this, the Lord revealed to me a parallel in my relationship with my riding instructor and my relationship with Him.  Difficulties are a part of life.  Discouragement, fears, and doubts will all inevitably come.  But when your whole world comes crashing in, what will be your motivator to overcome the obstacles?  What will drive you forward?  Your love for the Lord, your trust in Him, and belief in yourself as you understand who you are in Christ and the power you have through Him to accomplish the impossible.  “If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.”  (Jas 1:5-8)  So it is when we ask God for victory though and when we go out to face the Enemy in battle.  If we don’t believe that nothing is impossible with the Lord and don’t believe that we will walk away in victory, than we have no right to expect to win the battle and overcome.  Of course, our motives as we go out to battle have an effect on its outcome as well though.  “…whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”  (1Co 10:31)  Are you wanting victory for the glory of God or for your own personal gain somehow?  But belief and expectation, along with actually walking in those two elements, is a very important part of our role.  Miracles come to those who believe in them.  As Jesus Himself told the father of a demon-possessed boy, “everything is possible for him who believes.”  (Mk 9:23)  Trust God to not only win the battle but to win the war.
But some of the things I did during my riding lessons would seem pretty crazy to anyone who didn’t work with horses.  I would fall from a horse and get right back up, despite the achiness or the bruises.  I would keep riding past the bucking.  A horse reared on me but I went back to working on the exact thing he had reared in… and before the end of my lesson, we had overcome the challenge.  These are things that no one except for riders and trainers could understand.  Things that seem reckless, foolish, or just plain asking for trouble maybe.  But Elizabeth and I understood why I did those things, why she had encouraged me to press past the difficulties.  Sometimes in our lives, God will call us to do things that no one else will understand.  It’s not fun, it’s not easy going against the popular opinion, but sometimes He will call you to do something that no one else will understand why you’re doing it.  Sometimes He’ll tell you to hold onto hope in a situation that seems hopeless and already in ruins.  Readers, our companions, family, and friends are wonderful- we need them- but we cannot go through life with a need for the support of others.  We can’t always need someone’s approval to feel worth-while, to feel secure, to feel loved, to feel successful.  We have to be able to stand on our own and find all the approval and support we need in Christ alone because there will be times in our lives when no one else goes with us, when no one else supports what we feel God calling us to do, when we find we’re standing alone.  We cannot be a people whose decisions and actions are entirely dependent on the opinions of others.  “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you.  Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal.” (Isa 26:3&4)  The things God calls you to do and the things He calls you to invest hope in will not always make sense to everyone else.
            If you’ve ever ridden a horse before, you know that there is sometimes only so much you can do though.  You can only control a horse so much with a bit and a bridle and can only do so much to stay in the saddle.  That’s why people fall sometimes.  I fell three times and had countless near-falls.  Because there’s a certain amount of trust you have to put in your horse.  In reality, there’s only so much you can do.  There’s only so much control you really have.
            So it is with our lives.  As we go through life, there is, in truth, only so much we can do in our own ability.  When your friendship with someone is falling apart, there is only so much you can do to reach out to that person and try to bridge that gap.  When you’re unemployed, there is only so much you can do to job-search and gain a position.  When God calls someone forward from your life, there is only so much you can do.  God gave us incredible minds, incredible intelligence, and incredible abilities both mental and physical.  But there are limitations to these human minds and human bodies.  The control we have over our own lives is limited.  The things we do and the decisions we make affect our lives and their courses, but there are still some things that we have to trust the Lord in.  They are beyond our own control.  “The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the Lord.”  (Pr 21:31)  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”  (Pr 3:5)  Our ability to trust in the Lord and in His promises and the extent of that trust are related to how much we understand our human limitations and are willing to surrender our own control, realizing we know nothing apart from Him.
            My riding instructor once told me, “You have challenged me as a teacher to challenge you as a student.”  What did she mean by this?  Because I was always achieving the goals she had set for me, she was always having to think up new goals for me.  When we show ourselves willing to overcome the obstacles to do what God has called us to do, we are demonstrating our faithfulness and trustworthiness to Him and as a result, He’ll likely call us to do more and more, things that might be difficult, challenges that come with their our obstacles to overcome, but assignments that He knows we’re capable of doing.  “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!  You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things.  Come and share your master’s happiness!’”  (Mt 25:21&23)  I don’t know about you, but at the end of the day, I want to hear the Lord say these words to me.  I want to be the kind of servant that He can look at and say, “This one I can trust to do the job.”
           As I stood there in my church sanctuary, reflecting on my response to situations in my life, I had to ask myself a question:  over-achiever… what had happened to her?  Had I left her on the farm?  Maybe you find you’re asking yourself the same question.  Are you really responding to situations in your life the way you should be?  The situations in your and in my life are commas in our stories.  They are not periods.  They are not “Game Over” signs; they are “Processing, Please Wait” signs.  No matter how dim the situation might look, no matter what anyone says, the battle is not over yet.  If you’ve been running away from the action, it’s not too late to still turn around and in the name of Jesus to face the obstacles and the attacks of Enemy.  “But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.  Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”  (1Co 15:57-58 ESV)  And remember, as I read once, God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers.
            So I ask you again: victory or defeat?  Which to choose?  The outcome of the battle is your choice.  Yes, the victory rests with the Lord, but it’s our choice if we’re going to even prepare the horse for battle.  The outcome of the battle is your choice.  Are you going to choose victory?  Or are you going to choose defeat?  Are you going to be a champion or a quitter? 
We all want victory over defeat, but it will take some overcoming and an effort.  It’s much more difficult to hang in there and stand on the frontlines facing the gunfire rather than turning around and retreating to safety and comfort.  But those who turn around and run never reach the other side and all that lies in store for them there.  Are we really willing to make the sacrifice it takes to get there. 
 
 
 
“Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies.  Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them.  For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.”
Deuteronomy 20:3&4
 
 
 
*Check out the song Whom Shall I Fear by Chris Tomlin.  This song has been such an encouraging reminder to me!
 
 
Photo courtesy: www.123rf.com
 
~We’ve all heard of the phrase “pulling on her/ his heartstrings,” but heart-chords?  I was struggling to decide what to name my blog.  I wanted it to be a name that was both creative and meaningful.  As I pondered, my gaze fell upon my acoustic guitar where it stands in my bedroom, and the Lord reminded me that our hearts- our lives- are instruments.  They are constantly in song, but what melody our heart plays is each of our own decisions.  They can play a melody for praise or for entertainment.  A musician selects his songs according to his audience.  So do we.  Whether our audience is the world or the Lord, our song will be different.  This blog is designed to first, increase my awareness in finding God and His guidance in my every day and second, to share the music lessons He teaches me in tuning my heart to learn the chords of praise He longs to play on my heart-instrument.  Music is a powerful tool.  Use it for His glory.  “He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:3